i am roller girl

Gah. I have a crush. I haven't been hit this hard in a long time. Here's to hoping this one doesn't turn out to be another asshole. I love being around him and wearing his hat and just looking at his face. And I feel like I'm 13 years old. What an idiot, we haven't even kissed. And its only Monday and I won't see him again until Saturday night. blah, weekend come quickly please.
This weekend was insane, I still feel like crap. Friday night I hung out at a house party just doing lines and smoking up like I was still in highschool. Saturday night went out to eat at my favorite West 4th street resteraunt, got drunk, went to a club, drank some more. Huge fight broke out. It's funny seeing wall street types fight. Idiots. The cobs were called, megaphone, screaming. etc etc... walked down 5th avenue at 3am drunk and running. Went to a raver type party. It was at the most amazing loft place ever. This place was like 3 floors and with a huge roof terrace. I smoked too much weed, drank some more. Danced. Watched b-boys. I can't rave, but I'll try when I'm that wasted. Took some X. I never learn my lesson. I always have a bad reaction to that crap. We left at 8am. Amanda had the spins and the chills and was crying. Took her home. Then I was walking to the subway on the upper east side looking all strung out. I smoked in the subway station. I needed it. Felt and looked like shit all day yesterday, even though I slept until 8 when my parents came and took me out to eat. Went to some NYU party at midnight. It was lame, but there was free weed so who cares. Class seemed especially long today.
I feel so emo for some reason. I've been listening to sad death cab songs and watching the rain like a loser. I have a fever too. All I want to do now is watch Boogie Nights for the 100th time and pass out in my bed.
this entry was random and stupid. but thats me i guess.