Wednesday, November 23, 2005

i feel like this entry is pointless...

Sometimes I feel as if I am slowly dying. And I know we're all slowly dying, but I really feel it. Maybe I feel as though I'm quickly dying. I'm on the fast track to death. I haven't been smoking that much and I only drink now, maybe once a week. I don't even get tipsy. However, I have been on some sort of drug every day, for almost the past 30 days. Right now, it's coke.
Life is good though. I've been meeting a lot of new people, having fun with my friends, and dating. I'm dating four different guys right now. Which is odd, I've never been a juggler. Last night, aka a few hours ago, I went with a boy to see Journey, then I watched his comedy act, and we went and had a few drinks. I like him. But I still miss Matt. And I hate myself for that, but I can't help it. I know he's an asshole and we'll never work out in the long run, but I just miss him. I really do.
Jac called me this afternoon, he was 10 blocks away and had to be in work in 20 minutes. He ran the 10 blocks and Bri and I to go get some drinks. We told him we would but neither of us had any money. He gave us $40 and almost all his cigarettes. My friends are amazing.
Bri's writing a book about her life. It's so weird to read about certain nights and things that we've been through. Some things seem liked they happened so long ago, when really it was just a couple months.
I love New York. Skipping class to ice skate in Central Park, open bars, De la Vega drawing on my purse. God, this city still makes my knees shake sometimes.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

bungalow 8

Last night I went to Au Bar, got 2 free tickets to an advanced screening of Walk the Line, with Q&A with the director after-wards. Pretty cool. I had about 5 drinks last night, none paid for by myself. Au Bar makes the best apple martinis. sooo delicious. I don't think the bathroom lady I accidently stole $2 from when i was wasted remembered me last night, thank god. By 2am I would up in a booth at Bungalow 8 with a bunch of people I didn't know. That was pretty cool, because I've never been in a booth at Bungalow. I was sitting alone, smoking a cigarette, when all of a sudden this section gets roped off with velvet ropes, a bunch of people come over, and like 3 waiters brink cases of drinks and juices and crap. The dudes were really cool though, but a bit too old for me. I could never do that, even if I had the money, pay $400 for an $80 bottle of vodka, just to be in a vip section. It just seems so dumb and wasteful. I'd have more fun getting drunk in an alleyway or on top of my roof. And I'd save alot of money too. Tonights MisShapes, aka my favorite party. Hilary Duff is going to be there, I have to get Josh to introduce me. She looks like shes got the good coke.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005


Today was such a blah day. I skipped my first class to sit around and eat. Then I didn't get to see him and I got sad. I talked to Amanda and Bri after class. Their both still sick from Monday night. We got a buch of shrooms from tim an then went down to have drinks an watch the parae. A cop grabbe my boob. I did at least 7 tequilla shots, at least. Then we all somehow woun up in a cab and at bungalow 8. Fabian Basabe was there with a bunch of pretty gay boys. This is the secon time I've seen him this week. Oh, an Linsay an Jare Leto were making out. Her bodyguards an asshole. She's gotten fatter an looke like a cheap b&t girl. I was tripping really ba at that point and I hooke up with some girl in the bathroom. She was hot though. I think she told me she was sixteen. I forget. I was proun of myself though, I was the only one out of our group who didn't vomit. I put Amanda and Bri in a cab uptown and amanda passed out in the street an had to be carried into her elevator by three guys. I wish I went with them. I walke home alone intead. I was really messed up by that point. Not sure how I made it.
Everyone seems to be staying in tonight. I was going to do the same. I bought the Warhol diaries today. It would be cool if I could say I read all 700 pages in one night. Instead I'm going to a bar downtown to drink with some friends. It's a sports-bar type place, so at least I can wear my flip flops. I have really bad cuts and bruises on my feet from this weekend and it really hurts to wear shoes or sneakers. It's getting cold out too.
I think I was to be married by 25. I can't be out every night, drinking an drugging, hooking up with random people when I'm 25. I'm already getting a bad rep.
I hope tomorrow is better.
I'm late.