Sunday, October 30, 2005

Gramercy Park

I was on my balcony smoking a cigarette when I saw a tour group cross the street and stare at my building. This woman was giving them a tour, she even had a brochure of what the building looked like inside and everything. I couldn't help but think how much I'll miss living here. Gramercy Park is a special part of New York, even though it is a few blocks from Murray Hill and the East Village, its completely different. It's very old New York. I remember when I first moved here, I was walking h=around the park at 2am and all I kept thinking about was how it looked like something out of an old movie. On these four blocks there are no skyscrapers, no restaurants, no shops, no street vendors, no deli's. You can actually see a few stars at night.
However, come January it will be time for me to move. My roomates starting to get to me. Her screaming matches with her boyfriend and her constant need to play the backstreet boys and Abba at 9am when I'm hungover are just too much. But I'm sure my bad habits such as smoking weed at 3am with 10 of my friends, vomiting all over our living room and passing out with all my clothes on in our shower get to her too. I will miss Nona terribly though. I will miss waking her up and dragging her out of bed at 3am to walk with me to 14th street to eat pizza. She always has work the next day and yells at me for waking her up, but I know she secretly loves it. I will miss tanning on our balcony, drinking with her on 3rd avenue, and our obsession with watching felicity every weeknight.
I'm going to miss the little things like my doorman who thinks I'm insane, the street vendor who I buy my breakfast from every morning, being blocks away from whole foods, seeing Jimmy Fallon and Amanda Lepore on a regular basis. Oh, how I will miss Amanda Lepore walking down Irving Place in her tube top and platform stripper heels, as all the conservative Japs turn and stare.
I'm moving into a 3 bedroom in the east village with 2 of my best friends. I'm not sure living with best friends is a good idea. I have two friends that have bees best friends, completely inseprable since grammar school. They moved into an apartment together in September and now their not on speaking terms.
It's just time for me to move on. The old woman who lives next door keeps complaining that I have too many loud people over late at night and I slam doors just to wake her up. The first may be true, but is it really a crime to have friends over on a friday night? come on, new york used to be the most exciting city in the world. Now it's all quiet and no drinking coffee on the subway or you'll get a ticket, and smoking behind fences. My landlord actually told me I now have to sign my guests in a notebook with the security guard, so he can keep track of how many people I have over. I feel like I'm five years old again.
I actually wanted to move to alphabet city, maybe somewhere between avenue b and c. Alphabet city seems like the only place left in Manhattan that knows how to have any fun. But my friends weren't to keen on anything below first avenue, so the east village it is. I'm excited, a little nervous but excited. My parents aren't happy about me moving. My Aunt lives on the floor above me and I think they liked the fact that she could always tell them where I was or what I was doing. They said they wouldn't help me with my rent, so come January I'll most likely be back to serving drinks to yuppie assholes 4 nights a week. Oh how I hate Wall Street.
Oh, I won't miss the actual Gramercy Park though. That shit is overrated. Union Square is so much better.

Friday, October 28, 2005

"more bikes, less cars"

Who would have guessed a night in Jersey was all I needed? Wednesday night I decided to visit some friends at Rutgers. I hadn't seen most of them since August. We all just sat around, talked, hung out, did a few shots. I forgot how much I missed certain people. Needless to say, I didn't look too good for the funeral Thursday morning. I was running on 2 hours of sleep in the last 48 hours. Oh well. The funeral was depressing, more so than most funerals. Then we all went out to lunch. I was content and full the entire day. I wish everyone still lived in the city and I could see my friends every day again, instead of once every 3 or 4 months. I guess this is just growing up. Last night I bought my halloween costume, at 2 am. I love that my friends buy our halloween costumes at a sex shop. And I love the fact that I have a frequent shopper vip card for a sex shop in the east village. I swear, Halloween in New York is just a chance for everyone to dress like a slut and get wasted. I take back what I said in my last post about Halloween. I'm actually a little excited now. Tonight is drinks on St. Marks with Amanda and the boys. Then I'll come hope, try to drunkenly put on my costume and then off to the Motherfucker party. Today I did the Issac Mizrahi show, which I was terribly late for. I got yelled at. It wasn't my fault though. I was trying to hail a cab on Park Ave south. I get in and tell the guy I want to go to 36th and 10th. He says he cant take me. I didn't understand him. So I asked him to go to 36th street. He said okay, but he wouldn't go to the west side. I asked him why he was a cab driver and got out. Has this ever happened to anyone? Are cabs suddenly afraid to go to the west side? This isn't 1970's Irish mafia Hell's kitchen. It's all gay people and tv studios now. Then I went to the MoMa just because its free and my mom wanted to go. They have a really interesting sculpture exhibit on the 6th floor. Oh, and this exhibit with like 100 tvs, all live footage of this one guys life. There was no information on it though and I was really curious about it. oh well. Then I had a nice big Italian meal with my mom. I haven't had a real meal like that in weeks. It was nice. Matt left for California yesterday. He'll be gone for 3 weeks. He didn't even tell me until the night before he left, but at least he gave me 2 nice 8 balls. Oh, who am I kidding, it doesn't matter if this weekend is amazing or completely horrible. I've got another 8 ball left, it will be wonderful.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005


I hate my life right now. My friends have all basically ditched me. When I'm not at school or work, I'm basically left alone. People only seem to want to hang out with me when I'm drunk ro when I'm doing their drugs. A week or two ago I felt like I had amazing friends and the perfect life. Now it just all seems like bullshit. I borke up with my boyfriend last month who said he was still in love with me. Now I don't even here from him. My "best friend" never calls me, not even to mention she's going to Kentucky for 3 weeks. cool. My other "best friend" lets me vomit all over the place in the bathroom of nightclubs then encourages me to "just take the weed" from a teacher at my school. Yes, I smoked weed with a teacher from my school Saturday night, on the rooftop of BED. Then I got even sicker. I remember sitting on the bathroom floor of BED, vomiting over the toilet. I was choking on my own puke thinking, "this is how I'm going to die stoned, and alone on the toilet of an over-rated club. Thursday night I did shots at Movida with Johnny Knoxville. Thomas told me "you've officially made it in New York." I couldn't care less. I told him I had to go to the bathroom. Instead I went outside, hailed a cab, vomited out the window, and fell asleep on my bathroom floor with all my clothes on. My eyes were rolling towards the back of my head, and I remember my friend telling me to go back in and have sex with him. Great friends I have, huh? Someone close to me died Monday morning and I was too hungover to even care at the time. I asked my friend Rachel if she could drive me to the wake tonight because I don't know how to get to the funeral home and its all the way in Queens. She said she would, but she was driving 4 other people and there wouldn't be enough room in her car. awesome.
I cannot focus on my school work at all. I've been trying to write this essay for the past 6 hours and all I have is 4 sentences. No thesis. No promise of going further with this.
All my options in life seem to be gone. And I forgot to make a plan B.
oh well. I think I'll skip class today. Buy a bottle of vodka and see if I can score an eightball.
I hate my life right now. I remember being so excited for halloween a couple weeks ago. Now I think I'll just sit inside all weekend and cry. That or I'll go to one of the 7 parties I've been invited to, get piss drunk, have sex with some guy I'd never even look at in a sober mind, and fall asleep in another random apartment. The best part of a one night stand is the part after. When you wake up in the middle of the night with a hangover, dying of thirst. I love to do my walk of shame home, smoke a cigarette and pretend I'm breathing fire.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Monday nights

Last night I went to a party at my friend Chuck's house. He lives in a small 2 bedroom apartment by Lincoln Center. But I love his apartment because his kitchen has more liquor bottles than most New York City bars and he's always cool with me helping myself. There was alot of blunt rolling and a lot of me dancing outside white Tim and Bri sang spice girl songs. I met a lot of cool people who's names I now forget. I drank too much and I would have vomited but I had no dinner. I don't really eat so much anymore, I'm not sure why that is either. All I ate was breakfast yesterday and on Saturday I just had a Starbucks and a pretzel at Across the Narrows. Interpol was amazing. I love that they chain smoke during all their sets. Me and Amanda were dancing the entire time. Nobody dances at concerts anymore. I think not enjoying yourself is part of the hipster creedo.
I woke up today and decided it was too nice out to go all the way to Brooklyn and sit in class for 5 hours. I met Josh at his apartment and we did bong hits on his balcony for about 30 minutes straight. Then we walked to Central Park. On the way there, we saw Matt Damon on Lexington Ave. I screamed something like "Will Hunting was a pussy." He gave us the dirtiest look ever. I'm such a scumbag. I don't belong on the Upper East Side. Then we saw this old woman in a wheel chair racing down 5th avenue. She must have been going 60 mph. When she rolled by we started singing 'head out on the highway...' When we got to Central Park and ate some ice cream. Then we sat behind the boathouse and smoked some more. There were these people behind us making out and some tourists having a picnic. Neither seemed to mind the fact that we were blazing about 5 feet away from them. I was really high at that point and thought I was sinking into the grass. Then I kept thinking all those horse-drawn carraiges were cop cars, so we left.
I met Amanda in Soho and we talked about our boy problems for a few hours while shopping. Then we met Bri in Union Square. They shopped for shoes for way too long. Bri bought 7 pairs of boots. No joke. All of my friends are starting to get into relationships. Why do I have a feeling my winter is going to be cold and lonely? Ugh, I sound like such a loser. I'm writing this entry because all I can think about is coke and how I haven't done it in such a long time. I guess 5 days is a long time.