Wednesday, November 23, 2005

i feel like this entry is pointless...

Sometimes I feel as if I am slowly dying. And I know we're all slowly dying, but I really feel it. Maybe I feel as though I'm quickly dying. I'm on the fast track to death. I haven't been smoking that much and I only drink now, maybe once a week. I don't even get tipsy. However, I have been on some sort of drug every day, for almost the past 30 days. Right now, it's coke.
Life is good though. I've been meeting a lot of new people, having fun with my friends, and dating. I'm dating four different guys right now. Which is odd, I've never been a juggler. Last night, aka a few hours ago, I went with a boy to see Journey, then I watched his comedy act, and we went and had a few drinks. I like him. But I still miss Matt. And I hate myself for that, but I can't help it. I know he's an asshole and we'll never work out in the long run, but I just miss him. I really do.
Jac called me this afternoon, he was 10 blocks away and had to be in work in 20 minutes. He ran the 10 blocks and Bri and I to go get some drinks. We told him we would but neither of us had any money. He gave us $40 and almost all his cigarettes. My friends are amazing.
Bri's writing a book about her life. It's so weird to read about certain nights and things that we've been through. Some things seem liked they happened so long ago, when really it was just a couple months.
I love New York. Skipping class to ice skate in Central Park, open bars, De la Vega drawing on my purse. God, this city still makes my knees shake sometimes.


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